How I imagine I look when teaching on Zoom:
How I probably look:
Well, I’m heading into my third week of remote teaching, and while everything about this is stressful, upsetting and unbalanced –– there are a few bonuses:
* One, Sweatpants. I recently saw a meme that said something like: people who wear jeans right now are just showing off. I couldn’t agree more. No one I know wears pants with buttons or zippers these days. But, I have also found that leggings are a tad — restrictive. Particularly if one is sitting all day teaching on zoom. I like a waistband than can be loosened and I am very ok with tying laces as a way of keeping my pants about my waist.
* Two, Less laundry: One can wear the same sweatpants for 24, 48, even 72 hours –– with none-the-wiser, except for family members who are doing exactly the same thing.
* Three, Ratty Uggs. My daughter’s cast-aside and ancient Uggs keep my toes toasty, are easy to slip on without using one’s hands and look great with sweatpants tucked into them. I completely disagree with the assertion by others that this sartorial choice makes my lower half look pirate-y.
My sweat-pant/boot situation looks nothing like this:
* Four, Hair styling: I no longer care about the hair on the back of my head. When teaching in an actual classroom, it was important my whole head look well coiffed. However, since the quarantine, styling time is cut in half because only my husband, daughters and dog see the back of my head on a daily basis.
* Five, Chanel lipstick in Gabrielle: despite years of believing the opposite, I now know I can pull off a red lip. This is how it happened: In the middle of teaching my first class on Zoom, I raised my eyes to the top of the screen and thought, who is that undead person up in that corner? I was so washed out my chin was indistinguishable from my neck. Before my next class, I slicked on my usual taupe-pink, but it didn’t help. Then I remembered that tube of red lipstick kicking around my make-up bag, but was always too timid to wear. Put it on and I looked pretty good! Now, I keep the tube by the desktop and reapply between sessions, thereby resurrecting myself every forty minutes.
* Six, Sour dough starter: I am attempting to make it from a slurry of flour, water and the wild yeast that is apparently floating around in the air at all times. Kind of like a virus, but not at all. If you judge by instagram, I am not alone in this endeavor (#sourdoughstarter has 222K posts). Mine is on day four of sitting around and looking like bubbly sludge. Here it is day one:
I’ll let you know how it goes. I am not optimistic mostly because I forget to water and feed things that aren’t whining, barking or asking for dinner. But perhaps because I am home and kinda bored, I might end up with a loaf of sour dough bread. Obviously, I’ll post it if I do.